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Re: recovery and reassurance

Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:30 am

I am moving into day 2 of breaking away from my scammer the messages I received sounded more and more desperate as the day went on. I did not answer it was hard but I need to break away what really gets me is the fact I had a feeling it was wrong but did it anyway. I feel like my scammer groomed me to give them my money some how I tried to talk my self out of it but I couldn’t a previous posting said it right after about 2 to 3 months I started to wake up I had my suspicions they started to ask for even more money I finally said no more.

During the time I was being scammed I lost a good job I sent all of my money to this person. Lost my cable tv my cell phone was turned off but no matter what I still kept sending money. I’m not afraid to admit it was around $2300 in money gram most of that I don’t think I can get back and about $550 in iTunes gift cards that money is gone for sure. That was money for my bills and for my kids I feel terrible but what can you do. I’m starting to claw my way back I was promised money so I would never have to worry about bills again.

I would like to thank everyone who’s stories I have read and the site admins for everything I will survive I’ll be ok it going to be tough fight back to zero but I will manage I feel bad for how this has effected my kids I working on repairing those relationships. Believe it or not my youngest daughter she’s 17 now demanded that I cease all communication and she felt it was a scam and that gave me the push to find this place. I know I talk a lot but I have one thing to say to anyone new if someone on the internet wants you to send them money follow your instincts if your gut says no don’t do it! Also iTunes cards once you give them the number the money is gone your not getting it back.

Again Thank all of you who helped wake me up.


Re: recovery and reassurance

Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:18 pm

Thanks for your input here in the topic. And I'm glad your daughter saw the scam, and talked you into ceasing communication with the scammer. Thanks for sending all the details to firefly so that other victims of this scammer can be warned. Do not open any emails or messages from the scammer. Block them everywhere without saying one word to them.

Now your complete follow through of breaking off ALL avenues where the scammer can message or call you MUST be done. It is absolutely essential for you to close your email account used with the scammer and also change your phone number, too.
All social accounts you have online MUST be closed. This means Facebook, dating sites, whatsapp, skype, other chat apps. Your phone apps that have these or others are included, too. Everything means everything. Never log in to those accounts used with the scammer ever again. This step protects you and all the other victims of the scammer.

Romance scammers are EXTREMELY persistent and dangerous. They could continue to try to get you back for months by messaging you somewhere online and calling you if they see you online on your old accounts. They will try to renew the romance, or try a recovery scam on you. One frequent way they use victims is to turn them into money mules for them, taking other victims' money for the scammer and sending it to them, describing the victims as "clients of my job" or some other lie. Becoming a money mule can land you in jail, while the scammer gets off scott-free.

You will recover, and the first step of a complete break with the scammer is the first, hardest, but most important step to take. To hear stories from other victims who have gone or are going through the process of recovering and taking their lives back, listen to some of our podcasts.

Re: How Blackmail Scammers Think and Operate The Scam

Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:26 pm

SlapHappy wrote:Knowing how Blackmail scammers' minds work and how they operate should help you rid yourself of the fear fantasy that they created in your mind.

Whether you paid or did not, it makes no difference in the outcome. Once you stop the contact they go away, and they do not come back. You are forgotten.
They do not keep any list of names of you or your FB friends or the videos and store them anywhere. They do not want to be caught with evidence of the crimes on their pcs or phones. They only show you the list to ramp up the fear and lie about keeping it.
You are physically safe from the scammer, they will do nothing with your address.
They do not keep WU receipts as it's evidence of crimes or any other payment evidence.

Keep in mind, their focus is MONEY, not YOU. When the money dries up with a victim, they go look for other MONEY. Names, addresses, etc. are NOT IMPORTANT to them.
You might as well be just another nameless ATM machine to them that broke down.
So they go look for another one that works. It's really as simple as that. This is how their minds work. They are anti-social people, sociopaths. Money is more important than people. People are just the means to an end. Once the means to cash disappears, they look for other means. They do not think like normal people do. They have no remorse, no empathy for others at all. They will say any lie in order to get what they want and feel absolutely no guilt about it.

The way these blackmail scammers work is unlike the others in that speed and volume gets them the most money. Ramp up the fear fast, scam as many potential payers as possible as most scams end in failure for them. If one victim drops out, they quickly replace him with another victim who might pay. This is why each step in the advice works, and makes them realize quickly that the victim will not play their game or pay any more (ATM Machine broke down) and convinces them to move on to the next one in line to be scammed that might pay. Wasting time chasing non-payers does not get them any MONEY. They know this, this is their business model for success in this scam.
If they try to chase victims who blocked them and disappeared, they risk losing the ones they have in scams already going that are still in contact with them and they also contact less potential payers that day. This results in making LESS MONEY. They know this to be true, and this is why they do not try to contact victims for very long after they blocked them.

I hope this will help you to get more perspective on the scam, and lessen the fear that was based on falsehoods, lies, and misinformation.

This was written four years ago. Is all of this still true? I know that times change and technoglogy changes too really quickly.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Tue Apr 10, 2018 4:43 pm

Yup. Still true. Make sure you stick to the steps you received to the letter, and they will eventually go and forget about you.
Technology might change, but scammers minds do not. It's all about lies, lies, and more lies, all to get money. They do not honestly even consider "ruining someone else's life" at all in any real sense. That is just another lie to try to get more money.
The solution is still the same in every scam as well, cut them off everywhere online and disappear on them, and they move on.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Tue Apr 10, 2018 5:30 pm

It's also worth pointing out that some of the "technology" being used is software that has been around almost a dozen years, and the methods used were just stolen from other types of scam. It's not innovative, just derivative. I was using the exact same software they use now way back in 2007, ironically enough to record scammers on webcam. Most of these scammers couldn't put together an original idea if their lives depended on it.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Fri Apr 13, 2018 3:41 pm

It has been ten days since I was scammed and I was one of the ones who paid. I am doing better. I am trying my best to believe that the scammer has moved on. I have followed all the steps and nothing is on the internet as far as I can tell. Like it has been said a million times on here, He can't contact me. He would have to really try hard to find any of my information and if He did, he will just find maybe a phone number or an email address and even then it would be hard to tell if It is me or someone else with the same name.

I am afraid that He will get my office email or worse my bosses email somehow. But, I know that if that were to happen, I won't open the email, and I don't think my boss would either. Why would He? There is no way the email will be written in such away, from the subject to the content of the email, that will make him or I think it is anything but a bot or some kind of weird spam. And attachments would have to be opened to see anything. Who opens attachments from strangers who are talking about blackmail?

I also am working to believe that my scammer has moved on and that He won't spend to much effort on someone who's Facebook He can't find. I also keep reminding myself, when I think about all of this, that He won't keep the video. He knows what He is doing is illegal and keeping it somewhere, even if it is well protected online, could still lead to him going to jail.

I still don't feel like I am totally in the clear, but It is getting better with each passing day. I am finding it easier to concentrate on my work and not on googling myself. I am hoping to continue to see improvement.

Thank you for the support and the questions answered on here concerning this topic that I never thought I would need to know about. I am looking forward to changing my ways and moving on from this. I will try to update next week. I feel like next week will be a good week.

Re: recovery and reassurance

Sat Apr 28, 2018 10:48 am

If you are a webcam blackmail victim and have not gone to this link FIRST and given us the scammer's details on the form you will see there, please do so. Failure to do this may result in your post being ignored, deleted or moved to the link below and left unanswered. We need the scammer's details to help warn the other 30-40 victims/day and failure to give them will get you no help.
The Dump - "Whatif?" Questions Have Answers Here ... 20&t=35899

If you are not a webcam blackmail victim and have just arrived and have been scammed, please read and follow the advice in this topic:
What to do if you are a victim of a scam ... =3&t=26504

Re: recovery and reassurance

Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:25 pm

I'm sorry for the thread bump. I just found this site and have done a lot of reading through the threads, it's helped me tremendously. I was scammed back in February. It was the more typical Skype/blackmail scam/sextortion that I've been reading about on here. There was a screenshot of my face that got sent but no videos or anything; they were pretty quick to get to the money situation. From the time we started messaging, I don't think 10 minutes went by before they mentioned paying and I saw screenshots of my Facebook along with the pic of my face. They claimed they would ruin my life if I didn't pay right now. I was terrified. I ended up paying a total of $650 before I told them I wasn't paying anymore. There was contact for 2 days, then once I told them I wasn't paying anymore it all stopped. We never exchanged phone numbers or email addresses or anything like that. Even though my email is on my facebook, I never got anything. I ended up getting a follow up message request on Facebook about 3 weeks later from them but I deleted the request and never responded. I changed passwords, blocked that name on every social media avenue that I have and kept a close eye on my bank account and credit card balance. Thankfully, money wise, nothing has changed. If I would've known about this site earlier I would've gone through the steps listed for recovery, but I had no idea. I've also deleted my WU account and all my card info from it. I'm a singer/musician and have tried out for American Idol in the past and the past couple years I've tried America's Got Talent. I'm going back to AGT this year to try again, but that fear of them seeing my name somewhere has never gone away. At least until I found this site. Now, after reading all this, it all makes sense. Why would they keep after someone who isn't going to pay anymore or even respond? Why would they keep any pictures or screenshots (even though I was told by them that everything was deleted, I don't want to be THAT naive), but why would they keep anything since it's all evidence of a crime? I haven't had any hassles or any contact since that last message I received back in March so I'm assuming they've forgotten and moved on by now. Also nothing from facebook friends so it doesn't seem like they've tried to friend anyone else on there thankfully. My whole mindset on this has changed now reading all the responses and it's helped so much. Thank you all for adding your stories and for all the threads about reassurance and recovery. I'm not even worried about trying AGT again or getting my name out there anymore. Thank you so much for the reassurance everyone :)

Re: recovery and reassurance

Tue Jul 10, 2018 7:30 pm

Will they ever research you on the internet and attempt to call your office or family?

Re: recovery and reassurance

Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:47 am


You have a romance scammer that did not get any money from you, and as soon as you know you were being scammed, you did close social profiles, etc. making sure that he can find no way to contact you directly.
Romance scammers could lie about calling your office or family, friends, but the fact is they rarely do. They need to talk to YOU directly, not your family, in order to have any chance at scaring you and possibly getting any money. They would most likely say "Have him/her contact me." and that would be the extent of it. They know they would get immediately blocked if they threatened or said why they wanted to talk to you. Warn your family and friends to block the scammer, and any unknown person asking them to have you contact them for the next month.

Please read and take any other further precautions in the advice in this topic.
What to do if you are a victim of a scam ... 11&t=26504

You may also want to read these topics as well:
The post-scam stage - waking up to reality ... 11&t=37058

How to spot if your valentine is a scammer. ... 11&t=18085
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