recovery and reassurance

[SlapHappy]

Kenxyn,

Thanks for taking the time to post again. I'm sure others will be reassured by your words.

[helpmeplz]

Day 4 - the last two days I have been thinking about how funny it is that we are all wired the same way. When reading everyones stories they are essentially the same as mine. On the first day you just want to die, it is literally the longest day of your life. Then as EVERYONE on here has said, each day there-after gets better and better.

I really do believe the method and the steps, and the mindset of these scammers now. Obviously you have moments of huge doubt and you are sure they are going to ruin your life, you quiver up into a ball and want to die again. Then you compose yourself and realise why they do this and how their minds work. Their job is to get money, not ruin peoples lives, that is just the carrot they dangle.

Chin up and follow those rules if you have just been done! It really is the only way. If you have been scammed long ago keep those stories coming too, it's reassuring to hear.

Thank you everyone here for the hard words and tips, directly and indirectly!

[Sickened]

Hi All,
Only 24 hours ago I found my 'boyfriend' on a scammer warning site. I'd been talking to him for three months and it was only two weeks ago that I finally I smelled a rat when he said he was flying to Ghana to purchase land. I know, how slow am I? I didn't start reading the info on warning sites until that point, and it was only then, in retrospect, that I saw all the hallmarks had been there from the start. A few days into his supposed trip he tells me he's run short of cash to pay his solicitor, and though he didn't outright ask for money I knew he was hinting. I responded by saying apologetically that I just couldn't help because I was just too broke and had bills coming out my ears. So I'm one of the fortunate ones who didn't send money and have not yet been threatened with blackmail, though I'm worried that's coming and I'm so glad I'm not much of a social media user and my FB has always had high privacy settings. Unfortunately I did tell him where I worked, so I have that to worry about a bit, but reading some of the topics and posts on here has already helped the gut-churning anxiety to subside. The only thing I have, hopefully, to recover from is the embarrassment and disappointment at finding the man of my dreams doesn't even exist, and the trauma and shock when I saw his face on the front page of the scammer website and then the nausea as I read the stories about him. This guy, (or gang I suspect), has ripped women from all corners of the globe for thousands! I'm grateful I didn't part with money, but really I feel exactly the same as if I'd just been dumped by a boyfriend I was crazy about.
Thank you to all the contributors for making recovery a bit easier.

[SlapHappy]

Sickened,
If you have not posted all of the details of your scammer, you need to do that important first step of recovery. Your scammer is most likely scamming a dozen or more victims right now, and will scam thousands of others before he dies. You have the power to help many others and prevent a lot of hurt. Please read this topic on what you need to do to protect yourself now and in the future from him.
What to do if you are a victim of a scam
http://www.scamsurvivors.com/forum/view ... =3&t=26504

Send all details by email to our administrator, firefly. The email address is posted under every post firefly makes.

[Sarco]

Same story as most, just wanted to add to the consensus: follow all the steps and disappear for 2 weeks, I have not been bothered since and its been a month now. It may seem catastrophic when it's happening to you, but it will pass and you will move on. These guys just want a quick buck and have no reason to pursue difficult targets, so make yourself one of them. Just be careful on the internet from now on.

[WhatAHeadache]

Hey guys! Haven't really given a darn since it happened and followed the instructions here. It's been four months and nothing. As a lot of the threads go, these guys are petty and will move on very quickly as this is a business for them; wasted time means wasted opportunities...fortunately (and unfortunately for future victims). It's a business, so in most businesses, particularly where people are doing illegal things, they will not keep the evidence, so more than likely (as mentioned in other threads, the'll delete them. It's a federal crime in most countries to record without consent illegally, I believe it's called DCMA. Anyway, before I get off topic I'll get back to it. Your life will go on, you'll laugh at yourself, may be feel stupid, but you'll be better. But these dirt bags don't own your life and they never will, just remember to follow the steps exactly on this site. And just live like you did! Nothing really changed at all except that we're the wiser about our behaviors (I hope so anyway!)


I turned off my Facebook back in August and it was extremely liberating beyond just the rules suggested here. It's really nice to not be at peoples beck and call on messenger or have to read the nauseating noise of the news feed.

I moved across the country (not because of the scam, lol) but because I had an opportunity to better my life even more. I'm waiting for an offer for a job that pays about 40% more. All these things, positives. And you have to keep that in mind. Focus on the positives! Dating is normal. Work is normal. Friendships are normal. You'll be fine, just clear your mind, think logically, and overcome!

[Saintsman]

I created an account just to reply on this forum. It's been over 5 months since I was scammed. I was living in a new place with no friends and was very lonely (and drinking) so of course I fell hook, line, and sinker even though I knew the dangers of meeting strangers online. They demanded $500 upfront and I talked them down to $200. I was in contact with the scammer for less than 24 hours. I had arranged that I would pay them the $200 the next morning which I never followed up on after reading what to do on forums (scam happened at night) and they actually did send it to a handful of people on my fb account (everything is hidden so they only had a cover photo likes to look at). The good part was they sent it to one of my best friends as well who kept me updated on everything.

The good news if you've been scammed lately and have that sinking pit in your stomach feeling like depression and despair are about to drive you to suicide, the messages the scammer sent out went to the spam box on facebook. I had another friend that received the messages (the scammer showed me the list before sending it, after which I promptly blocked all communication with). I purposefully didn't tell my other friend and to this day he still has no idea it even happened because the messages landed in the spam box. I reported the messages and account for blackmail (facebook has that, although it's somewhat slow). The account was deleted within a few months and all the messages were deleted by facebook. I haven't heard anything from anyone else on the list of people the messages were sent to (some of them I would tell me about it within 2 seconds of seeing it) so all that is left is the self embarrassment of it all.

As for closure, I feel like even though they did send messages on deaf ears, it was very nerve wracking for the first few months afterwards. These scammers are some of the lowest scum on Earth. They're equivalent to murderers and rapist. They will leave you once they realize they won't get your money and even if they do act on their threats, they will most likely only send it to a few people and within 30 minutes they're working on someone else. We are ALL human. We ALL make mistakes from time to time. Just writing this post is getting the last bit of the feeling off my chest. Just remember that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger and you will be a stronger individual after an experience like this.

Thank you for reading this and good luck to anyone else going through this experience.

[SlapHappy]

Saintsman,

Thanks for sharing your story here.

I was in contact with the scammer for less than 24 hours. they actually did send it to a handful of people on my fb account (everything is hidden so they only had a cover photo likes to look at)

Unfortunately you found out the hard way that waiting to deactivate your FB account had some consequences. Just making it private to friends only is not enough. That is the most important step of all to do ASAP. But even so, once the scammer knew there was no money, he moved on to other victims.

You are right.
Nobody is perfect. You live and learn, and then forget it and move on with your life. Staying frozen in time is a waste of time, and the scammers do not deserve to take that away from you too. Don't allow any bad experience to do that to you in the future. You are now more prepared to move on from the next setback, no matter what it is.

[TheKid]

Hi everyone...

I stupidly turned into the victim less than 24h ago. I live abroad, far from family and friends and at that moment I was frightened. I have never thought I could be so scared and could feel such an enormous sense of despair. Thank God I googled my scammer and I found this forum full of hope. I blocked every communication channel with him, I deactivated my social media and I tried as hard as I could to get myself off the google search results. Thank to all of you. He did not send anything to anyone. I did set up a money transfer that has already been cancelled thanks to the kind customer care workers of western union. Me and the scammer have communicated for only few hours, he is from Morocco and his English is so poor I doubt he could even do what he claimed he could. I will stay offline as long as I can now: being alone abroad, that is not always easy and thus I would love to get in touch to some of you survivors . Anyone willing to give me a bit of support?

Thanks again to all of you. From my heart.

Looking forward to getting in touch with a former survivor!

[SlapHappy]

Check out these four links to help you deal with the aftermath of the scam and to understand it better.

How Blackmail Scammers Think and Operate The Scam
http://www.scamsurvivors.com/forum/view ... 110#p52656

Interview with a blackmail survivor, a member of our website:
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/ Click Playlist button in the upper left of the player. Scroll to podcast #11.

Interview with New Light, a blackmail survivor:
http://scamsurvivors.com/podcasts/ Click Playlist button in the upper left of the player. Scroll to podcast #16.

recovery and reassurance
http://www.scamsurvivors.com/forum/view ... f=3&t=4509