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My dad married his scammer!

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My dad married his scammer!

Unread postby mydadisbeingscammed » Sun Jun 30, 2019 7:51 am

Not sure if this has happened to anyone else, but my dad is currently married to his online romance scammer! My dad is in his early 80's, and he has been a widow since 2011. Back in 2017, he got Facebook invites from a young scantily clad Caucasian woman who lived in Ghana. Out of curiosity, he started an online romance with her. It turned out that she was using an adult film star's photos, and I was able to prove it. I thought this would stop it, but then the woman "admitted the truth", and sent pictures of who she really was - an African woman named Patience. Patience is apparently in her 30's and is "in love" with my dad.

After much back and forth, Patience decided to visit my dad where he lived, in California, USA. My sister and I were in disbelief when Patience actually arrived (we even met her in person). Prior to her visit, my dad had probably sent her a couple thousand US dollars. After she arrived, that's when he started giving her more money, due to the fact that she "was real". My sister and I let the FBI, ICE, social services, local police, etc. know about this. They said there was nothing they could do. The FBI agent we talked to admitted he'd never heard of a case where the scammer actually showed up, since that would be a big risk. He said this meant they (we're convinced a large network of scammers are involved; it's not just this woman) were in for the long haul, and they realized my dad was their big prize.

Needless to say, there is much evidence that Patience is being fraudulent. I was able to look at my dad's email and Facebook accounts, and it was just lie after lie, on how much more money this woman needed from him. First it was for her seemingly never-ending graduate schooling in Cuba, then she gets malaria (twice), then she gets into a car accident (which supposedly killed people), and now it's to bribe the Ghanaian Army to release her from the Army so she can get her Green Card. All of which cost thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. I assume he's spent close to 400-500K US on her so far, and I found out he's willing to give all of his savings to his woman.

Also, my dad has visited this woman a few times in Cuba, and he's now planning on going to Ghana for the second time this August. Of course, when he visits her, she's always "busy studying or researching", so they don't really spend time with each other.

My sister and I hired a lawyer last year, and tried to get conservatorship. But we lost. The biggest problem is that my dad is still apparently sound of mind. He has a PhD in Physics, and he's always been very book smart. The situation with my dad is that besides my mom, whom he met in his 30's, he's never had any experience with women. I believe this fact, coupled with his loneliness after my mom passed, is what made him so susceptible to this fraud.

If Patience was actually living with him, then I probably wouldn't care so much if he was giving her all his money. She'd deserve it, if she was taking care of him. But she keeps postponing when she'll be able to actually live with him. The main reason is because her schooling is taking so long. She's getting a PhD in Sports Medicine, but apparently this is the longest and most expensive PhD program in the world (even though schooling in Cuba is supposed to be very inexpensive). She's currently scheduled to be done with her PhD as of 2021, but I'm not holding my breath.

My sister and I have tried countless times to prove to him that this is all a scam. We even hired two Private Investigators (one even proved her birthday on her passport was different than what was on her Army ID; but the FBI, ICE, etc. still couldn't do anything because they were Ghanaian documents). He has made it clear that he 100% trusts Patience. My sister is currently not speaking to him because of this. It's really sad knowing that his money could be going to charity, churches, schools, etc. But it's going into the hands of these scammers instead.

I know this post is long (I could go on for pages and pages), but just wondering if anyone has heard of where the scammer has actually visited the victim?
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Re: My dad married his scammer!

Unread postby firefly » Sun Jun 30, 2019 8:03 am

There are cases when the scammer reveals his / her real identity, pretending to fall in love with the victim and willing to get married. It happens for a green card or for money.

In romance scam terms, this is when a romance scammer becomes a pro-dater / gold-digger. He / she will met the victim in real life, spend time together and sometimes even get married. All lasts until the scammer achieve what he / she is after: citizenship and / or money.

Sadly, there is not much you can do to stop your father in this case, if he is not willing to admit the truth himself.

In such cases, the scammers are already controlling their victims entirely and they know that no one can get that victim out of their control.

We can try to help as long as the scam happens online, while the victim and the scammer never met in person. This case is beyond of the area we can deal with here.

I would suggest you to contact AARP ElderWatch - aarpelderwatch.org. They might be able to help.
Help yourself by helping others - report your scammer here.
Google can be your best friend;use it if you have doubts about someone met online. If someone met online only asks for money, no matter what reason, it´s 100% scam.
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Re: My dad married his scammer!

Unread postby mydadisbeingscammed » Sun Jun 30, 2019 2:18 pm

Thank you very much for your reply. In a bizarre way, it is somewhat comforting to know this has happened before. You are right in that she’s a Gold Digger. My dad even admitted she was, but that he was getting something in return - “love” (I forgot to mention above that they got married in the US in 2017).

I will contact AARP Elder Watch, thanks!

*Also, if there is anyone else out here in this forum who’s had a similar situation, where the scammer has met the victim in person, please reach out to me. I’d like to see how you are dealing with it.
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