hello my love !How are you?Is there any news about the prize yet?I just want to see you as soon as possible. thank you so much for your lovely letter. Dissolving into you and our love, I lose control of the world around me and I don't know how to relate to it. I know that it is impossible for me to live without your love, I find solace and inspiration in thoughts of you, but at the same time I am tormented by thoughts of the duality of the situation.
I repeat, because I have already said this. It has become more and more difficult to express your thoughts - they do not have the same lightness. The physical side of love also becomes a cause for torment, no matter how well I feel at the same time. I can't tell you this out loud, so I'll tell you now - you excite and excite me exactly the way I like, I'm ready for more and for more, and you know that I trust you more and more and open up to you. I care about your touch and I know how and where you feel me best.
Such power comes from you at such moments that it is a joy to obey it. It seems that I already know a lot about you, too. How wonderful it would be to love you, to give myself to you in other conditions, where one would not have to hold back and be afraid of everything and everyone. I'm afraid that many people know about us, because you can't hide the kind of love that shines in your eyes and is reflected in mine. There's no hiding it. The flowers of love always betray themselves precisely not by the modesty of the joy of possession and reciprocity.
If you express my love in color, then this is the color of red-hot coals in the fireplace, when the middle glows brightly and joyfully, but the edges are gray and black, which then recedes, then comes on scarlet, bringing sadness and sadness.
If you compare with tastes and smells, then my love is more like cherry with cinnamon - and a little chocolate with vanilla, and the smell is - imagine our November, not a very cold day - the day when rain turns into snow and the last leaves from the trees fly outside the window - and there is such a rapid nature slide in the air cold - with freshness, with impatience, with wet branches, umbrellas, wind, and the very moment that we both remember. There are no words to convey the fragrance of love that I believe will appear when we meet.
I love you as only a woman can love a man, I feel you, I study you, I want to know you more. Everything has gone so far that there is no way back. You expect a lot from me, both in love and in other areas - I'm not sure I can meet your expectations. I love and I'm afraid - fear eats away at me and does not let me live. You know all this. I'm afraid that at some point I won't be able to cope with myself and everything will spill out - I'm already on the verge of a breakdown. You should know about this - you said yourself that we should be together.
to rethink what has been experienced and done fills me, unfortunately, not with satisfaction and the ability to rethink and assess the situation sensibly, but with hopelessness. Now I understand that it will not be possible to go with the flow, but I do not have the strength to wait so long for our meeting.
There are no landmarks and there is no certainty that I am doing something good. I have a feeling that everything I touch spoils right away - as if my inner energy has been replaced by someone else's. It even seems to me that I'm dreaming - all the time, but it tells me that you can wake up and get into another reality.
I want a child, but again there is only a "but". And the main "but" - why introduce another life into this world? I want to love and give love. I know, thanks to you, that I can do it.
I thank you for what you are, for your long-suffering and passion, for endurance and tenderness, for your dreams and for everything you do for me. I thank you for your infinitely valuable gift for me - for your love.
My love, I want you.
your Olga